Caring

I see a lot of clients who feel physically and emotionally exhausted. They are drained from work and home responsibilities. Sometimes I ask them:

“What are you doing for yourself?”

They are always a bit shocked when that question comes up and often reply with

“That seems selfish.”

This leads to the conversation about the oxygen masks on airplanes “You put your oxygen mask on before you can help others; you cannot help others if you are drowning.”

Many years ago, I was a lifeguard. We were taught never to save a drowning victim without our red buoy. This is because someone who is in a desperate situation will bring you down too if you are not prepared. Simply put, stop trying to save others when you are struggling yourself. Get on solid ground first. We are a non-religious practice, but I still love this poem someone shared with me from H.J. Birch about learning to care for yourself. You are important too, and your worth matters.

I'm Trying to Care

All my life I cared for others, all of my sisters and my brothers.

I never knew that someone like me was important... yet now I'm starting to see.

I too am important, I too am worth care, I must care for me too, this I must dare.

I have dared to be different and stand alone, now I must learn to care for me too, I'm not a stone.

I have feelings and thoughts and dreams I do, I am important too just like you.

I always thought I didn't matter, yet amid all the noise and the clutter,

a quiet voice said I was important too, my sweet child I care for you, I truly do.

So now I'm trying each day that I live to like myself too, caring for you is easy for me to do.

It's caring for me that presents a problem: if you get told enough in life that you don't matter, you start believing that lie and all its chatter.

I won't give up, that's not my scene, I will keep fighting forward, do you know what I mean?

Step by step it isn't easy, yet I will not give up even though at times I feel quite queasy.

I will stand tall, I refuse to waver, in this quest I'm giving my all.

Just as I can be friends with many, I can love my friends and like me too... is that uncanny?

God loves me too, so at least liking myself is what I must do.

It's funny how I can see your worth clear, yet to see my own to me seems queer.

It's difficult for me to see that I have worth, that I am of value just for being me.

Yet my Father in heaven says it is true, so this is why liking me is what I'm working to do.

This is a road I'm not used to, it feels so unknown yet I'm sticking like glue.

I heard I'm doing better, this is good cuz I'm a natural fretter.

So reassurance is what I need, that I'm doing well and I can like me.

Thank you Father up above, for teaching me I'm worthy of love.

By H.J. Birch