Bad Therapy & The Jodi Hildebrandt Case

Simply put, therapy should empower you to heal and grow, not trap you in cycles of dependency or harm. As a therapist, I've seen clients thrive when guided toward independence, but stories like Jodi Hildebrandt's remind us how dangerous bad therapy can be. If a therapist is not guiding you toward independence, confidence, and better relationships, then they are not doing their job, and it is time to find another therapist.

Hildebrandt, a former mental health counselor and business partner to YouTube influencer Ruby Franke, was convicted of aggravated child abuse in 2023. Through her "ConneXions" program, she promoted extreme methods that isolated clients and fostered long-term reliance on her guidance, often exacerbating problems rather than resolving them. Former clients reported ruined relationships and deepened distress, highlighting how she created issues to keep people in therapy indefinitely. This culminated in the abuse of Franke's children, leading to prison sentences for both women. It's a stark example of therapy gone wrong—where the therapist's agenda overrides client well-being.

In contrast, good therapy focuses on building your skills to "leave the nest" and fly solo. A skilled therapist encourages tackling hard truths, like unresolved trauma or boundary issues, then celebrates your progress toward autonomy. Evidence from sources like Psychology Today emphasizes that effective therapists use proven, evidence-based approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral techniques, to foster real change without prolonging sessions unnecessarily.

How do you spot the difference? Watch for these signs, drawn from reputable guidelines:

• Good Therapist: Actively listens without judgment, helps you set personal goals, helps you strengthen your personal relationships, and maintains clear boundaries. They draw on evidence-based practices and track your progress, aiming for eventual independence. If sessions leave you feeling empowered and clearer, that's a green flag.

  
  

• Bad Therapist: Dismisses your concerns, imposes their beliefs, encourages relationship sabotage when abuse is not present, exerts control, or encourages endless therapy without measurable improvements. Red flags include breaking confidentiality, being consistently late or distracted, or making you feel worse long-term. Hildebrandt's case shows how this can escalate to harm.

  
  

Remember, therapy is about your growth, not the therapist's control.