Human Worth does NOT Equal Market Worth

In my experience as a therapist, I've often encountered clients who tie their self-worth to external measures like success, wealth, or status—much like the quote from the self-esteem workbook: "If human worth equals market worth, then only the rich and powerful have worth. By this line of thinking, Hitler would have more human worth than a Mother Theresa." This stark comparison highlights a dangerous flaw in our cultural narrative: equating value to power or productivity leaves so many feeling inherently unworthy.

But let's dig deeper. What if your entire identity is tied to your marriage or job? What happens if you lose your job, retire, or go through a divorce? Suddenly, that foundation crumbles, and you're left questioning your very existence. You are worth more than your title—whether it's "CEO," "spouse," or "parent." True self-esteem comes from an inner sense of value that doesn't vanish with life's changes. It's about embracing who you are at your core, beyond roles or accomplishments.

A few years ago, this truth played out dramatically on a national stage. Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin collapsed on the football field during a Monday Night Football game against the Cincinnati Bengals on January 2, 2023, suffering cardiac arrest after a routine tackle. He wasn't the best player in the NFL—no MVP awards or record-breaking stats—but the entire game halted. Players, fans, and even opponents mourned and prayed, showing that his life held immense value far beyond what he brought to the game. It was a powerful reminder that human worth isn't measured by performance or productivity; it's inherent.

Another way to think about it is through the lens of a small baby. Infants bring little "value" to the world in terms of contributions—they can't work, create, or achieve. Yet we cherish them unconditionally, protecting and loving them simply because their life matters. This innate worth doesn't depend on what they do; it's about their existence, potential, and humanity. As adults, we can extend that same grace to ourselves. Imagine viewing your own life with the same tenderness we give to a child—flaws, vulnerabilities, and all. It shifts the focus from "what can I produce?" to "who am I becoming?"

And here's where it gets tricky: If you only feel good about yourself when things are going well—landing that promotion, enjoying a harmonious relationship, or hitting personal highs—your life becomes a roller coaster. One setback, and your self-esteem plummets. Steady self-esteem, however, acts like an anchor, holding firm through ups and downs. It allows you to celebrate wins without tying your identity to them and to weather losses with compassion, knowing your worth remains constant.

True self-esteem isn't built on societal hierarchies or achievements that fluctuate with circumstances. It's rooted in recognizing our intrinsic humanity—the capacity for kindness, growth, and connection that Mother Teresa embodied, regardless of fame or fortune. When we chase "market worth," we risk diminishing our sense of self, leading to anxiety, depression, or a constant need for validation. Instead, consider: What if your worth stems from simply being—your efforts to show up authentically, to care for others, or to navigate life's challenges with resilience?

If this resonates and you're struggling with self-esteem tied to external validation, therapy can help untangle those threads. Reach out; small steps toward self-compassion can redefine how you see your own value.